Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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