can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
