so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
