Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
