yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
