You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
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I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
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Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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