What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
