How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
