can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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