Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize