Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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