The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Girls should come with a carfax report
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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