college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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