how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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