6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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