high people should be assigned attendants
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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