If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
