okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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