u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
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she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
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I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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