remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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