btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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