Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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