how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
