addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
