Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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