i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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