...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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