My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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