I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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