Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard