I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
