Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
