dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
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Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
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3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's