Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school