all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
