he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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