Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
