all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize