how hairy? two words: wookie tits
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
