i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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