I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
