he shaved USA in his pubs
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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