I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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