i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dignity is for republicans.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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