Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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