Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
