Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
