I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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