We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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