The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
there is puke in my bra ... again
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