I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
