My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
