I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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