we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
