too bad you live with your parents still
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
