the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's never too late to be topless.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
