I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
