I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
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First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
pray to the hookup gods
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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