your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
