when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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