i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
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They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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