apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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