If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
