This is not my ceiling
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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