every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
