I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
where are my eyebrows?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize