Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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