I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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