I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize